


Feelings of Guilt

by hallow777



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, lena does not know Kara is Supergirl, post 3x02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-21
Packaged: 2019-01-21 02:51:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12448146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hallow777/pseuds/hallow777
Summary: Kara can't stop feeling guilty over lying to Lena about where she disappears to during work so she decides to do something about it.Set after Season 3 Episode 2





	Feelings of Guilt

She lasted two more days before the guilt got too much.

Sure she had mostly cleared the air with Lena and things were back to normal, or at least as normal as it could be with your best friend suddenly buys the company you work for and is now your boss, but she still felt guilty.

Once Psi was taken care of, Kara spent the next day working harder at Catco than she had in awhile. She made sure that everything was going smoothly for Lena and did everything Lena asked and made sure that Lena knew she wasn’t sneaking off again.

She spent the entire day praying that there wouldn’t be a Supergirl emergency that she would have to take care of and thankfully she made it through the day without any trouble.

The day after was different though. She knew it was only a matter of time before it happened but she didn’t know what to do about it. The day was almost over, in fact she was in the middle of making sure everything was wrapped up so she could go home, when her phone rang.

Kara was quick to answer it but she was also quick to notice Lena’s head popping up from where she had been talking to Eve to look towards Kara at the sound.

But Kara couldn’t worry about that now, there was an alien attacking people downtown and Supergirl was needed so Kara did her best to ignore the way her heart sank when she noticed that Lena noticed that she was slipping out again.

So here she was now, pacing back and forth in her apartment trying to decide if there was anything she could do to make this better.

It wasn’t like she could just not be Supergirl during Catco business hours. It wasn’t like she could tell rampaging aliens and other disasters to please wait until she was off work.

With Cat it hadn’t been as much of a big deal. Cat was usually busy with her own stuff and Kara knew her so well she could usually predict what she would need and would have it ready to go for Winn or someone else to take to her so Cat never really questioned why “Kiera” wasn’t always right at her side all the time.

And of course, with James it was even easier. He knew why she was disappearing and would just pretend not to notice or would say he sent her out to do something if anyone else happened to notice her disappearances.

But now she didn’t know what to do.

When Lena said she had bought the company, Kara hadn’t really given it too much thought. She had figured Lena had just done it to irritate Edge and would just run it from afar.

There were always going to be times that she had to take off for Supergirl business and Lena was going to notice. Even if she had Winn or someone to cover for her, she was pretty sure it still wouldn’t work. Lena was too smart. Not to say that Cat wasn’t but Lena was smart and seemed to be intent on keeping an eye on all her new employees.

What was she going to do?

What could she do?

The only way this would get better is if Lena knew why she had to sneak off sometimes but that was crazy. She couldn’t just tell Lena, that would be insane.

Alex would have a fit if Lena knew. She’d go on and on about how too many people know already and how “it’s just not safe, Kara. You don’t know who you can really trust.” and about how much extra paperwork she would have to do at the DEO.

Plus there was the whole little fact she was pretty sure Lena would hate her if she knew who she really was. Or at least that’s what Lillian had told her.

But she also didn’t want Lena to think she wasn’t taking this seriously because Lena was the boss now.

She also didn’t know if she could survive another disappointed look from Lena.

This was probably absolutely the worst decision she had ever made but ultimately it was the fear of losing her friend because she couldn’t be truthful to her that had her taking out her phone and sending a quick message before she lost her nerve.

_Kara: Are you still at Catco? Or maybe L-Corp? There’s something I need to talk to you about and I would rather do it in person._

This was a bad idea. A horrible idea. Alex was going to kill her when she found out but for the first time in a while there was a small sense of peace knowing that whatever happens at least she wouldn’t have to lie to Lena anymore. After everything Lena had help them with lately, she deserved the truth.

Then her phone dinged and that peace was replaced with panic because oh Rao she was really going to do this, wasn’t she?

_Lena: I’m actually home for the evening, is it about work? Can it wait until tomorrow? Or is this a more personal matter?_

Kara took a deep breath and considered taking the out and pretending it was something about work tomorrow but she wanted to do this. Lena was probably going to hate her and want nothing to do with her but at least she would probably let her sneak off for her Supergirl duties without anymore hassle.

Either that or she would find a way to fire her. But at least she would be free to be Supergirl.

_Kara: It’s personal._

Kara was in the middle of typing out a message about how she could just wait until tomorrow to tell her when Lena sent what looked to be an address quickly followed by another message.

_Lena: Come by if you want. I’ll let the doorman know to be expecting you?_

_Kara: I’ll be there in ten._

Well, no backing out of it now.

She was really going to do this.

* * *

 

So she may have flown over to the address Lena had sent her within two minutes and then ducked into an alley a little ways down to put her normal clothes back on over her suit and then spent the next eight minutes pacing in the alleyway, almost managing to talk herself out of it but then she thought of the disappointment that was on Lena’s face when she had slipped out earlier and her resolve strengthened.

The big burly doorman was doing his best to look intimidating but once Kara gave him her name he smiled brightly and let her pass through with some brief directions on how to make her way up to Lena’s apartment.

“Hi. Come in,” Lena said opening the door wide just a few seconds after Kara had knocked on the door.

“Hi. I- Um, I’m sorry to bother you outside of work.”

Lena just gave her that look that says she's being ridiculous and then led her to the couch in the middle of the very large and open living room with a gentle hand on her back.

“Nonsense. Sure, it was unexpected but I don’t mind. What was it that you wanted to talk about?” They had both sat down on the couch but as soon as Lena asked that, Kara was up and pacing at the end of the couch.

“Okay. So. Um. I wanted to apologize again for the other day-”

Lena cut her off with an eyebrow raised, “Kara, it’s okay. Really, you don’t have to worry yourself over it.”

“No, it’s not okay because it’s absolutely going to happen again like this afternoon and I don’t want you to think that I’m not taking this seriously or that I don’t appreciate what you did for me by taking over Catco even though I know you didn’t do it just for me but still. And you were right part of it was about Mon-el but that’s not really the main reason for my disappearances and all that. And I felt so guilty when I slipped out this afternoon so even though I’m really, really not supposed to be doing this and my sister is absolutely going to kill me, I have to tell you. I want to tell you.”

Kara came to a stop a few feet away from the couch, facing away from Lena when she heard Lena’s heart rate pick up before she spoke, “What do you want to tell me? Is it about my mother? Is she doing something to you? Is she threatening you? I can-”

“No, no. It doesn’t have anything to do with your mom. Well, not really anyway…” Kara trailed off and was still facing away from her and it really wasn’t doing anything to relieve Lena of the feelings of dread she was suddenly having about what Kara was going to tell her.

“I…” Kara started fiddling with the buttons on her shirt.

“I’m Supergirl.”

With the first few buttons of her shirt undone, Kara spun around on her heels so that she was facing Lena again, letting her see the red and blue suit that was showing under her open shirt.

Lena was just staring at her with her mouth hanging open so Kara started nervously rambling trying to explain herself and buttoning her shirt back up.

“So. Um. Yeah. That’s why I keep having to leave. The first day there was this metahuman Psi who was messing with people’s heads so she could rob banks and I kept trying to come back to work when she wasn’t robbing a bank but she just kept doing it one after another so I had to keep rushing off then yesterday I was so glad nothing happened and then today I almost got through the whole day without anything happening but then there was some big furry alien rampaging downtown and I had to stop it before it did any more damage then I got home and I couldn’t stop thinking that there are always going to be times when I have to leave work to help someone and I kept thinking about how hurt you would be if I kept doing that and kept lying to you and I just couldn’t do it…And you definitely hate me now, don’t you? I’m sorry for lying to you for so long but there’s no way the DEO would have let me tell you.”

That finally seemed to snap Lena out of her shock and she finally focused on Kara’s face again instead of her chest.

“Why did the DEO decide to let you tell me now?”

Kara looked down at her feet guiltily. “They didn’t?”

“Oh.”

There was silence for a few moments before Kara couldn’t take it anymore.

“I should… go now. Let you think about this. I’ll see you in the morning? I mean, if you still want me to work for you, that is. I can understand if you think it’s best since I can’t really be the perfect employee.”

“No!”

Kara took a step back towards the door and winced at Lena’s near shout, already thinking maybe she shouldn’t have told her. At least then maybe they would still be friends and she would have a job.

“Wait. Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I just- I need some time to process this and I have a lot of questions…” Lena trailed off for a minute getting lost in her own thoughts before shaking herself out of it. “I was going to order some dinner right before you texted, have you eaten? I was actually planning to see if you would have time to talk with me tomorrow about some ideas I have for Catco but maybe we could eat and talk about those now? If I’m not keeping you from something else?”

That… was not what Kara had been expecting but unless this was all a trap, her friend didn’t seem to hate her and was offering food. How could she say no?

“I’m always hungry,” Kara said with a smile but Lena just looked at her thoughtfully.

“I guess you being Supergirl does make a lot of sense. You definitely have an inhuman appetite.”

A small awkward laugh escaped Kara as she made her way slowly and carefully back to the couch, half afraid that Lena was suddenly going to change her mind about wanting her around but when she finally sat back down all Lena did was ask what they should get for dinner.

Lena ordered their food and then disappeared into another room to grab the papers she was going to show Kara tomorrow and when she came back Kara couldn’t help herself.

“You seem to be taking this pretty well. After the initial shock, anyway.”

“Am I? What were you expecting?”

“A lot more yelling maybe? I don’t know. Lilian said you would hate me when you found out.”

Lena stiffened at the mention of her mother but then took a few deep breaths to relax herself.

“She may have raised me but she certainly doesn’t know me very well. I’m not mad at you. I can see why you would keep it a secret. Not only do you have yourself to think about you have the DEO and everyone else who is involved with Supergirl to think about. Plus I’m sure me being a Luthor doesn’t help.”

“You know I don’t care about your last name.”

 

Lena just smiled softly at her. “I know you don’t but not everyone else is so willing to trust a Luthor. I’m used to it. Really.”

“Besides, I actually thought you were Supergirl during our first few meetings but then I guess I convinced myself I was imagining things but really it makes a lot of sense. You told me you ‘flew here on a bus’ the second time we met. You said you were having coffee with yourself when I was thrown off my balcony.”

“Okay, yeah the first one was a big mess up but what was wrong with getting coffee?”

“At nearly ten pm? You should have gone with ice cream. Now that I would have believed.”

Kara smiled at her but was saved from having to say anything else by the intercom near Lena’s front door buzzing, saying that the delivery person was already there.

“Wow that was fast.”

Lena shrugged and stood up to go pay for the food. “I tip well so they are usually eager to please.”

Within a few minutes both food and papers were spread out on Lena’s coffee table as Lena explained some ideas that she had for improving Catco and Kara, after much encouragement on Lena’s part, was giving her completely honest opinion on them. Some ideas Kara just wasn’t sure if they would go over well at Catco, or at least not right now so those were put to the side but there were some ideas that she thought were just sheer genius and was going to make things at Catco run so much smoother than they were before. It was going to be great.

Just.

“Are you sure you are okay with this?” Kara couldn’t help but ask.

“With what, exactly?”

“With me. Being an alien.”

Lena sighed. “Kara, you are basically my only friend in National city. As sad as it is, if you turned out to be a giant purple monster that ate children for breakfast I would probably still be your friend.” There was a little bit of hesitation. “You’re still Kara right? I mean, this doesn’t change anything between us? You aren’t having thoughts about calling this friendship off or anything now that I know who you really are, are you?”

“No! Definitely not! I am so glad to be your friend and I am so glad that I can be all of me around you now. I just really wasn’t sure how you would take it.”

“Good. I don’t want things to change for us.”

“Me neither.”

Everything was good.

Finally, Kara didn’t have to feel guilty about lying to Lena anymore and she could truly enjoy being around her. More than she already did anyway.

Everything was great.

And then her phone dinged twice and she looked down and saw she had a message from Winn and then from Alex.

_Winn: I’m sorry. She made me do it._

_Alex: Okay look I realize it’s an invasion of privacy but with everything going on lately when I came to your apartment and you weren’t there I had Winn ping the tracker on your phone to see if you were still at work or something but you weren’t so I had Winn do some digging and why are you at Lena Luthor’s apartment???_

Oh, right. Alex.

This...was not going to be fun.

“Is everything okay?”

Kara looked up and Lena was giving her one of those smiles so she nodded.

Everything would be okay because no matter what, this was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> While I personally think it would be crazy for Lena not to know shes Supergirl at this point, this idea wouldn't go away after seeing gifs of that scene on tumblr before I even watched the episode itself.


End file.
